Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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