I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize