in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
