You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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