no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
