Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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