and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
