if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
