I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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