Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
