real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
