Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
