Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
