the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think we might need a safe word for this...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
