i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
