Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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