Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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