and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Damn victory sex feels great
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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