A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
