doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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