hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if only i could text you this smell
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
