if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
