He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
