Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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