dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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