I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize