So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
