Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
