and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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