Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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