VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
too bad you live with your parents still
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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