I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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