I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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