now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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