i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
