Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
