I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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