i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize