when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
