You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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