school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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