How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
