I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize