I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm at about main and main street
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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