Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
