how can u be prego again
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
