we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
