I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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