I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Let's paint friendship bongs
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
