those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
