I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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