is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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