Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
