She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
