My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
