He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
