i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
