My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
