New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
