just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize