She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
