So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
