in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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