I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
