you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
