cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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