Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
