i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
