my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
