Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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