Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize