dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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