That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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