he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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