i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
