Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
