Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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