I'm really into asian looking animals
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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