when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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