There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
