i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
