he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
