just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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