You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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