I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
