worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
