hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
