i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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