come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
